Your Filipina Pen Pal!

But seriously, folks: it's all about dialogue...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Melinda's Pen Pals

Quite a few pen pal marriages end up starting their own Pen Pal Services. I came across this website.

Some of the more interesting pages from his site (it's mostly the husband that posts on the site):
-Reason for preferring Filipinas
-Various emails they've received
-Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act of 2005

The IMBRA law effectively requires all men seeking pen pals to go through a security check before being allowed to contact any women (Section 113 of the Act). Companies that are introductory sites must make sure the men do not have anything on their record regarding domestic violence and a whole long list of other things that may make them prone to creating an abusive relationship.

Another site I ran across was Filipina Wives which is not a pen pal site, but is a gentleman that sells a book regarding Filipina women and Western men relationships. The site includes a pseudo quiz to measure whether seeking a Filipina wife is a good idea or not. His site seemed a bit more balanced in terms of taking on myths.

Some pages there:
-The Problem with "Submission"
-His Mail Order Bride FAQ includes what the INS defines as a "mail order" bride
-Attack on Feminism (men saying they are looking for a Filipina because they are not apt to western Feminist ways

8 Comments:

  • At 2/22/2006 1:01 PM, Blogger ver said…

    Hi gura...I've seen the "Filipina Wives" site before, and I agree the guy seems at least 50% less offensive than the Riks of the world. Which isn't saying much, but still. I'm tempted to buy the book, but I'm loathe to fuel this stupid industry with any more $$.

     
  • At 2/22/2006 1:44 PM, Blogger Gura said…

    I think what hits me are two reoccuring notions:

    1. going into these relationships in reaction to Feminism, which brings up the notion of what is considered equality between the sexes

    2. The idea that by finding a "submissive" wife it somehow makes the man by default more powerful or manly.

     
  • At 2/22/2006 9:17 PM, Blogger Jean said…

    These are really interesting sites, Gura. It's good to see the range of views you present here...

     
  • At 2/24/2006 4:45 AM, Blogger kriszia said…

    What you and the "Filipina Wives" site said is true. I've felt the stigma in that some people go to my site using some very stereotypical keywords (i.e. Filipinas submissive wife) And that some dating sites automatically assume that since you're a Filipina, and you're still in the Philippines, you're on the site because you're looking to bag some guy so you can get a Visa to the states.

     
  • At 3/01/2006 1:51 AM, Blogger Miss F said…

    This is a quote from the ATTACK ON FEMINISM page of the Filipina Wives website:

    "It could be argued that a man has the right to choose the kind of wife he wants, and if he clearly knows the kind of wife he does not want (one from his own country), he should use this knowledge to his advantage. In this scenario, that implies looking abroad for a potential mate. Fair enough. But one still has to ask why a man would turn to the Philippines, of all the nations of the earth, to achieve his goal."

     
  • At 4/23/2006 9:08 PM, Blogger filipinaladies said…

    My wife and I own the Melinda's Pen Pals that you speak of here. You will never find the word "submissive" used on my site to describe a Filipina. You will also never find me trashing American women.

    What is happening now however is we are being attacked by hate groups, like the National Organization of Women. Groups that have decided that all men seeking an Asian penpal for marriage are deviants and spousal abusers.

    IMBRA is an anti immigrant hate law, which violates two amendments of the constitution. The government is already losing it's first battle in court over this law, and it will also lose the second (mine). When a government starts making human beings submit background checks to communicate with other human beings we have a problem. That is why IMBRA will not stand. Background checks are already required at the visa processing stage, and that is where they belong. They do not belong at the "hello" stage.

    Some really sincere people have fallen in love on our website, and we have really enjoyed keeping in touch with some of these folks. While it may be easier to label us "flesh traders" or "marriage brokers", why not take a step back and have an open mind.

    Thanks, Steve

     
  • At 4/23/2006 9:09 PM, Blogger filipinaladies said…

    My wife and I own the Melinda's Pen Pals that you speak of here. You will never find the word "submissive" used on my site to describe a Filipina. You will also never find me trashing American women.

    What is happening now however is we are being attacked by hate groups, like the National Organization of Women. Groups that have decided that all men seeking an Asian penpal for marriage are deviants and spousal abusers.

    IMBRA is an anti immigrant hate law, which violates two amendments of the constitution. The government is already losing it's first battle in court over this law, and it will also lose the second (mine). When a government starts making human beings submit background checks to communicate with other human beings we have a problem. That is why IMBRA will not stand. Background checks are already required at the visa processing stage, and that is where they belong. They do not belong at the "hello" stage.

    Some really sincere people have fallen in love on our website, and we have really enjoyed keeping in touch with some of these folks. While it may be easier to label us "flesh traders" or "marriage brokers", why not take a step back and have an open mind.

    Thanks, Steve

     
  • At 1/18/2009 1:58 PM, Blogger prtywstrngrl said…

    OK, I'm an attractive AND educated American woman. You can start being jealous now. I didn't need to f**k some fat old man from a different country to get that way. I've personally known quite a few "Pinays" in my life, and I can personaly tell you that they are just preying on the western women's leftovers. They can be auctioned off to the highest bidder, like cattle...no really. I think you can even find some on this website! Look ALL OVER the internet! It's GROSS!! Some of the poor Filipino parents will even sell their teenage daughters into mail-order bride services, just so the girl can send them a few bucks every month. Have you ever noticed people don't move TO the Phillipines, they move AWAY from there. Sadly it's a very poor country and the women will do anything to snag themselves an older rich man from just about ANY other country that will get them OUT of there, it doesn't even have to be an American. Not to say that they aren't educated, most of them are. Which could potentially make them more dangerous. Some people will do ANYTHING to improve their social status. I'm not saying EVERYBODY is the same, but anybody who has taken Sociology 101 knows that stereotypes are derived for a reason and are mostly accurate. Just be carefull if you're considering dating one, or anyone from a third-world country for that matter. I'm not racist or ignorant, just very OBSERVANT

     

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